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Purge! Purge! I was tipped off by a coworker yesterday. She said that the company often checks our email accounts, reads them, scans them for personal messages and derogatory messages about associates, and considers your termination when these are found. So, this morning I deleted approximately 55 MB of personal emails at work -- roughly 918 emails ranging in topic from jokes about coworkers to pseudo-midday cybersex. It was pretty bad. I had to get rid of it all. Unfortunately for me, I hoard everything. I save. I archive. I rarely trash my emails. So, also this morning, I burned every single email onto a CD, which I will bring home later today and transfer onto my own PC. Then I deleted the motherload. Deleted from the inbox. Deleted from the Deleted Items. Deleted from the recovery system. God, I hope they're all gone. Because when I talk about people getting fired for sketchy reasons at my work ... this is exactly the type of thing I worry about.  Disco Lemonade For the past three weeks my department has been having creative challenges for prizes, and up until today I was undefeated. The competition tends to be a bit fierce, but last week I pretty much dominated with my hat made out of calculators.  The challenge was to create any kind of hat without using paper. We had 15 minutes, so I booked for the supply room and somehow managed to tie those damn things together with their electrical cords. It must have weighed about 20 pounds. Unfortunately, today I was defeated in an attempt to make a department mascot. Alas, my "Vic the Talking Mohawk" was defeated by someone's human-crushing juicer on wheels. At least I survived. I had good reasons for hesitating to post this a few months ago. I happened upon a fun little quiz last October: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test. I remember being quite pleased with my score at the end, just before I noticed another quiz on the same site: 32-Type Dating Test. I also remember saying to myself: I hate these things. I am just going to answer this as truthfully as possible and see what BS it has to tell me about myself. For that reason, it was especially disheartening to see these results ... You are ... The Last Man on Earth Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDm)  FACT: The apocalypse has come. All are dead. You never should've asked her out. Shit, rejected again. You are The Last Man on Earth. The Gentleman  Deliberate Gentle Love Master
For Christ's sake, the picture even looks like me! Anyway, if you find this stuff particularly interesting, I highly recommend listening to a fantastic Love & Radio episode: Love in Bits. Honey, I'm home.  My new beard was just long enough to be fashionably redneck at last Friday's monster truck rally in Funkadelphia. I even wore my mesh Phillies hat, circa 1980-something, and drank canned Bud Light with Sara as we cheered on Grave Digger and Friends! We even had ear plugs, but we didn't use them because we were that hardcore. Yes, this photo does look as if we've been poorly photoshopped into Monster Jam, but I assure you we were actually there and enjoying every engine-revving, car-jumping, Reptar-transforming second of it!  OH MY GOD, and you should have seen when T-MAXX prematurely jumped the van during the freestyle competition and busted his transmission on the spot, shooting trans fluid all over the place, and had to be craned off the damn track; it was fucking amazing! Anyway, we reached Ocean City at about 2:30 a.m. and enjoyed the rest of the weekend mostly in bed, at the movie theater, in front of the pool table, and with our faces full of Chinese food and pizza. We were spared the snow, mostly, though the wind from storm was intense enough to rock the house back and forth Saturday night. This was made apparent when our king-sized bed started shaking at around 4 a.m. Everything cleared by Sunday night, however, just in time for our quick dip in the hot tub outside. We would have stayed in longer, especially since we had to walk on ice to get in, but the surrounding neighbors seemed a bit too curious; plus, the wind was knocking our wine glasses into the water. And as we all know--alcohol is NEVER worth sacrificing, kids...not even for a hot scantily clad girl in a 104-degree jacuzzi. We drove about 4 hours back to Etown early last night, ate more Chinese food and went to Blockbuster to rent Blair Witch 2. (Final Destination was already out.) Sara drove home shortly after I left for work this morning. When I got home, I found this ...  I'd give an explanation, but trust me when I tell you it won't help to explain the insanity that is us. Happy Valentine's Day! Dog Days of Winter Someone got the box at work today. I think this was the first time I had heard this expression when my coworker whispered it in my ear this afternoon. Sure, I had always associated the act of cleaning out a desk with getting fired, but when the other copywriter told me someone "got the box," for a second I envisioned a box full of candy and hard cash. But, no. It was an empty box to be filled with that person's belongings. And it was to be done immediately while the manager stood and watched, making sure that nothing belonging to the company was taken. "Oh," I said to my coworker. "That's sounds a bit humiliating." And then I decided that, if I ever "get the box," I'm going to have a little fun with the situation to make my boss stand there a while longer. I'll accidentally put the computer mouse in my box, and then remember it wasn't mine in the first place. "Oh yeah," I'll say. And then I'll put the entire computer in there. "Oh yeah." And now for something completely different ...  Cameran (foreground) and my parents' new dog, Petey. East of the Mississippi Okay, okay, I know Sara has this picture (and others) posted on her blog, but I couldn't help it!  Finger-clicking good I was at the grocery store when I first noticed something amiss about my debit card. It wasn't working. A couple hours later, I checked my bank account online and found the problem. Aha! There it is. A negative balance of $471.23. That pretty much explains it! As it turns out, when I was paying a credit card bill online the other day (for a due payment of $28), I inadvertently paid off the entire balance for roughly $1,200. Since then, I've been charged a $32 overdraw fee. I've paid $20 to wire money from another account. And my bank has charged me another $10 to process that wire... $62, all because I (probably) clicked one wrong box on a Web page. You have no idea how much this annoys me. (Or how dumb I feel.) Git 'r done! You know things are getting pretty serious in a relationship when you're spending hours on the phone every night, making 9-hour round trips to see each other every two weeks, going on long walks with her family, looking at baby pictures and home movies, talking about moving in together and ... going to the MONSTER TRUCK RALLY! It's romantic! It's sexy! It's SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY at the Philadelphia Spectrum! Okay, it's actually not Sunday. It's next Friday, but it's the perfect start to a Valentine's weekend of luuuuv. Sara and I will be driving from E-town to Philly wearing our trucker hats and flannel shirts, and then we'll be making the trip down Ocean City, Maryland, for a weekend at ye ol' company beach house. You'll have to pardon my sappiness for a while because there just doesn't seem to be anything else worth talking about lately besides this relationship. Last weekend I went back up to Tivoli for the first time since New Years and I met about nine members of Sara's family. And get this ... they liked me! I mean, I knew Sara was crazy enough for that sort of thing, but her family? Insanity! Sure, I may have kept my mouth closed for most of the weekend, but I was also very comfortable with her family and overall things went really well. It's about nine days until Monster Jam though, which means I'll basically be sulking aimlessly around my apartment until then. God, I hope there's a fire-breathing monster. |
Late night snacks. Bite-sized ramblings. Old-fashioned eats, served fresh daily. Open 24-7.  Other blogs Fireballs and Tsunami JeffreyDavis.net Mismatched Parentheses NimbleSixpence One Tortured Soul Palpably Inadequate Picnic, Lightning Pony Legs, Temporarily Supernouveau Wander Lust In my DVD player Archives June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 Other stuff Homestarrunner One Slime DeepDiscountDVD Olde English Sketch Comedy Live Music Archive Copy Army Copywriting Service Love & Radio This One Time Email me mmjunior / at / hotmail   
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